Istanbul, here I come!

I have just read most of my blog to see if I still agree with what I had written. Also, a lot has changed for me. I have recently moved to Istanbul to start a new life here, hopefully better than in Eskisehir where I hadn´t been very lucky. I´ve been living in Turkey already for one year and a couple of weeks! I have realized that living in this country is by so far the biggest challenge of my life. Mainly because my boyfriend is Turkish. It means that I am more and more expected to behave like a Turkish because I am not just any tourist or foreigner. So lately it has felt like this country and I are in a kind of war, testing each other. I guess the reason why I haven´t packed my luggage and left yet is because I like challenge. And I don´t like giving up.

I am not sure if there was first Turkey angry with me or me angry with Turkey. However silly it might sound, I believe that a country is like an organism capable of treating you well or badly. I believe that sooner or later you find yourself in a kind of relationship with the country. And like every relationship, this one too has its phases. You are curious first, then you fall in love, everything is new and you can´t see any mistakes. You just accept everything as different. But then after some time you open your eyes and suddenly there are some problems and conflicts. And sometimes they make you really unhappy. And you are not sure if it is worth trying. But you keep on going. You hope in better tomorrows. You change the city, try to find new friends... 

I am not saying this country is better or worse than other countries. Please. It is just so damn different. It makes me wonder if I really am as open-minded as I used to think. It makes me wonder how much one is supposed to accept from a new culture. And it shocks me how difficult it can be from time to time. It makes me see my country and culture from a completely new angle and it makes me reconsider if what I had experienced before can really be called "living abroad". I can say now: erasmus is not living abroad. Visiting your friends or boyfriend in a foreign country, even if you stay for a couple of months, is not real living abroad. This what I am living right now is living abroad and it is pretty hard most of the time. 

But, yes, Istanbul, here I come. I am thinking that if I am to be happy in this country, it is going to happen in Istanbul. If I am to have a good job, it is going to happen in Istanbul. If I am to attend language, sport and cultural events like I used to back at home, it is going to happen in Istanbul. So here I am, Istanbul, trying to make a deal with you. Take it because you are a country on your own and we can forget about the conflict with Turkey.