Christmas in Turkey

To be honest, I have never spent Christmas in Turkey, nor am I very interested in doing so. The reason is very simple: because there is no Christmas in Turkey (and all my family is in the Czech Republic). On December 24 and 25 people work and go to school like any other day and most of them don´t have even the slightest idea what is happening in many other countries, not necessarily christian, but with the christian tradition let´s say (because that is the case of my country where most of the people are atheists).

The funny thing is that even a lot of English teachers mistake Christmas with the New Year´s Eve. Why? Because they call it the same in Turkish (they usually use the French word Noel for both) and some of the things we do on Christmas, they do on New Year´s Eve. They sometimes get a little Christmas tree and give gifts to each other at midnight. Still, they like to celebrate it with their friends and many choose to party. Oh and various shops and especially shopping centres have Christmas decorations. You can also easily get plenty of Christmas stuff, such as napkins, candles, mugs with Santa etc.

Anyway, this Christmas/New Year´s Eve trend depends on people. Some welcome it and enjoy celebrating it. Some say that it is not a Turkish tradition and it just copies Europeans and Americans.

I spoke to a Turkish girl who has spent Christmas in England once. She was glowing when telling me about her experience. I was happy because sometimes the Turkish idea of Christmas is not so flattering. They for example say that it is a commercial holiday. I agree, unfortunately it is. But I love buying gifts for my family (especially here in Turkey – when coming home, I feel like a Turkish Santa Claus) and all that thing with the Christmas tree and colourful boxes under it. So whenever I have the chance, I try to tell the people here about Christmas. About the traditions, about why we Europeans and Americans (talking about both North and South Americans) love it so much, why it is so special. It is just one of the many many missions I promised myself to complete in here. I also wish all of us understood better the most important holidays in Turkey and people weren´t judging each other´s culture without having enough information.  

"Are You Married?"

Are you a foreigner? Maybe coming from Europe? Did you bring some of your "European ideas" to Turkey? And you´re not married, still you want to live with your boyfriend/girlfriend? So don´t be surprised when the owner of the house tells you no already on the phone. Why? Because no matter how European Istanbul sometimes can be, the idea of two young people living together without being married is still a taboo in Turkey. My advice? Lie. Lie where you can, when you can. On the phone say that you are married. Wear a ring. Come with some relative to show that you have the support of your (/his/her) family. And if you like the house, then tell them that actually, you are not really married, you are just engaged, but you are a poor lost foreigner that cannot live alone in this huge city and you are going to marry very, very soon. Let them have mercy on you.

That´s about renting a house. In other cases, just say all the time you are married. You go to a shop, you say you want this and this for your husband. You meet new neighbours who are way too curious, tell them you moved in with your husband and what your husband´s job is. Lie, lie and lie and be careful when your bijouterie ring loses its shine. And if you can´t lie about your boyfriend being your husband, just change to "fiance".

I had a conversation with a modern middle-aged Istanbulian woman about important achievements in each one´s life. She was supposed to compare "get married" and "become a parent". She said that without getting married you cannot have a baby. I just smiled and said that you can but it is not exactly common here in Turkey. On the very same day, a relative of mine told me that she got pregnant. She is not married and she lives with her partner by the way (in the Czech Republic, naturally).

The funny thing is that I am already so well aware of some of the Turkish prejudices and taboos that I get embarassed when I ask a middle-aged businesswoman if she´s married and her answer is no. My Czech soul aplauds her, screaming well done, you did it, you broke the stupid stereotype, you are going your own way even in this crazy country, you don´t need a man! But the fact that she is Turkish and we are in Turkey, makes me feel almost like apologizing and changing the topic as quickly as possible.