The Famous Headscarves

Headscarves. We imagine there is just one kind and all muslims wear it. Wrong and wrong. The kinds of scarves and the ways to wear them are uncountable! And all the stupid stereotypes we have about them! 

Stereotype number one: When we see a woman with a headscarf, we either think she is completely stupid or we are sorry for her. We make films in our heads about how unhappy she must be and who probably makes her wear the scarf. Why do we do that? Who am I to judge them? What do I know about them and their reasons to cover their hair? 

Recently, these stereotypes and prejudices have been hitting me even more since I joined a fitness centre for women. (Why did I join a fitness centre for women? Simply because I like their programme. It´s different from other places. I can go there when I want, how often I want. And I don´t need to care if some guys are excited about having a foreign girl around.) It seems that at least half of the members are women with headscarves. The funny thing is that they take them off when they exercise so you are all the same in the gym. You have no idea which woman does and which one doesn´t cover their hair. I joined this gym a month ago but it still surprises me from time to time, when seeing a smiley chatterbox with her hair dyed to blond, how she covers her hair when changing her clothes. 

Then I ask myself: Why is that exactly? I´ve been living here for almost a year and a half, I have studied about the religion, history, culture, language... So why is that when seeing a happy modern Turkish woman, I expect her not to cover her hair? I don´t know and somehow I am ashamed for that but I guess that´s what I brought from my country. That a headscarf is a symbol of violence, injustice, reactionism, silence, modesty. I am not saying that in some cases it isn´t so, nor am I planning to wear a headscarf. I am just trying to be a bit more open-minded and not to judge those who don´t judge me for wearing a mini skirt for example.

There are not only many kinds of headscarves, but even more types of women who wear them, naturally. Some of the more modern ones can wear a headscarf together with jeans and sport shoes. I´ve seen covered women with tons of make-up, high heels, lots of jewellery and a handbag ten times more fashionable than mine. I´ve seen uncovered calves too. I´ve seen sisters, mothers and daughters, best friends walking side by side, one dressed as a very modest muslim, the other one with high heels and a skirt so short I would never dare to wear it. 

One thing I am sure about though is that headscarves is something that kind of divides Turkey. Ones hate them, believing that wearing them is like betraying the greatest Turkish hero Atatürk. But hand in hand with the Turkish nationalism, there is also the religion. Still, sometimes the families whose women do not cover their hair, are more religious than the others.

This is Turkey. As I had said before, the bridge between the East and West. And so is the question of headscarves in Turkey. Stuck between the East and West.

Christmas in Turkey

To be honest, I have never spent Christmas in Turkey, nor am I very interested in doing so. The reason is very simple: because there is no Christmas in Turkey (and all my family is in the Czech Republic). On December 24 and 25 people work and go to school like any other day and most of them don´t have even the slightest idea what is happening in many other countries, not necessarily christian, but with the christian tradition let´s say (because that is the case of my country where most of the people are atheists).

The funny thing is that even a lot of English teachers mistake Christmas with the New Year´s Eve. Why? Because they call it the same in Turkish (they usually use the French word Noel for both) and some of the things we do on Christmas, they do on New Year´s Eve. They sometimes get a little Christmas tree and give gifts to each other at midnight. Still, they like to celebrate it with their friends and many choose to party. Oh and various shops and especially shopping centres have Christmas decorations. You can also easily get plenty of Christmas stuff, such as napkins, candles, mugs with Santa etc.

Anyway, this Christmas/New Year´s Eve trend depends on people. Some welcome it and enjoy celebrating it. Some say that it is not a Turkish tradition and it just copies Europeans and Americans.

I spoke to a Turkish girl who has spent Christmas in England once. She was glowing when telling me about her experience. I was happy because sometimes the Turkish idea of Christmas is not so flattering. They for example say that it is a commercial holiday. I agree, unfortunately it is. But I love buying gifts for my family (especially here in Turkey – when coming home, I feel like a Turkish Santa Claus) and all that thing with the Christmas tree and colourful boxes under it. So whenever I have the chance, I try to tell the people here about Christmas. About the traditions, about why we Europeans and Americans (talking about both North and South Americans) love it so much, why it is so special. It is just one of the many many missions I promised myself to complete in here. I also wish all of us understood better the most important holidays in Turkey and people weren´t judging each other´s culture without having enough information.  

"Are You Married?"

Are you a foreigner? Maybe coming from Europe? Did you bring some of your "European ideas" to Turkey? And you´re not married, still you want to live with your boyfriend/girlfriend? So don´t be surprised when the owner of the house tells you no already on the phone. Why? Because no matter how European Istanbul sometimes can be, the idea of two young people living together without being married is still a taboo in Turkey. My advice? Lie. Lie where you can, when you can. On the phone say that you are married. Wear a ring. Come with some relative to show that you have the support of your (/his/her) family. And if you like the house, then tell them that actually, you are not really married, you are just engaged, but you are a poor lost foreigner that cannot live alone in this huge city and you are going to marry very, very soon. Let them have mercy on you.

That´s about renting a house. In other cases, just say all the time you are married. You go to a shop, you say you want this and this for your husband. You meet new neighbours who are way too curious, tell them you moved in with your husband and what your husband´s job is. Lie, lie and lie and be careful when your bijouterie ring loses its shine. And if you can´t lie about your boyfriend being your husband, just change to "fiance".

I had a conversation with a modern middle-aged Istanbulian woman about important achievements in each one´s life. She was supposed to compare "get married" and "become a parent". She said that without getting married you cannot have a baby. I just smiled and said that you can but it is not exactly common here in Turkey. On the very same day, a relative of mine told me that she got pregnant. She is not married and she lives with her partner by the way (in the Czech Republic, naturally).

The funny thing is that I am already so well aware of some of the Turkish prejudices and taboos that I get embarassed when I ask a middle-aged businesswoman if she´s married and her answer is no. My Czech soul aplauds her, screaming well done, you did it, you broke the stupid stereotype, you are going your own way even in this crazy country, you don´t need a man! But the fact that she is Turkish and we are in Turkey, makes me feel almost like apologizing and changing the topic as quickly as possible. 

Would You Like a Massage or Some Alcohol?

It´s been more or less two months that I moved to Istanbul. I´ve been very busy so I am discovering the city step by step. (Actually Istanbul is so huge that I think even if I had nothing to do, it would take me a lifetime to discover all this incredible organism.)

I live in an area with a lot of banks and markets. If I want to go to a shopping centre, I need to take a bus but except for that, I have everything I need within walking distance.

Last week, I wanted to buy some wine in one of these markets. I entered the biggest one near my home. No alcohol. Ok, I walked in the opposite direction to the second biggest one. No alcohol. Another market. Nothing. Well, no alcohol in any of these markets! How is that even possible?! I move to Istanbul, to a nice neighbourhood that doesn´t seem exactly super conservative and I can´t buy wine anywhere? Wow. In Eskişehir to buy some alcohol was the easiest thing in the world! At last, I remembered I had seen a small tobacco-alcohol shop on the way home, so hallelujah!

Massage. What about the massage? I have really wanted to go for a massage here in Turkey. I even found some special offers on the net. I showed them to my boyfriend. He said it might be ok but I should be careful because these places in Turkey are usually used for prostitution. For what?! As usual, I thought he was exaggerating. One or two days later he wanted to show me some cards distributed in our street. They were business cards inviting people for a massage. The photos on the business cards were quite interesting. Girls in lingerie with their legs wide open. And what was written on them? Something like "if you have doubts, just call us". My only doubt is – how can I be sure that I am going to a real massage place and not to a brothel?  

The Turkish Language

First of all, I would like to say that the topic of languages is my favourite. I studied Philology and I work with languages. I speak a couple of languages and I really love studying, teaching and translating them. Languages are my passion. They are my life.

Here in Turkey it is not very common to speak foreign languages. And if someone speaks a foreign language, it is hardly ever more than one. In my little country in the centre of Europe it is let's say more necessary to speak different languages.

There are nine languages in my CV. It might sound crazy or incredible but I can always explain it. I hate showing it off so I never really know how to answer the question "how many languages do you speak/know?". Why? Because I don't know. My reply gets unfortunately a little long because I try to explain that I for example understand Italian on intermediate level but I can't speak it (it would become a horrible mixture of Spanish, Portuguese and French). Or I can read a book in Slovak but again, I can't speak it. So the best question would actually be: how many languages do you speak fluently?

Anyway, enough of this long introduction that has very little to do with the Turkish language. People like to ask me: Petra, which language is the most difficult for you? I don't hesitate for a second to say it is Turkish. Still, I do believe that my mother tongue, Czech, may be more difficult (unlike Turkish, we do recognize feminine, masculine and neutro and we don't change only nouns, pronouns and verbs, but also adjectives and numbers).

Now what is difficult about Turkish? Writing and pronounciation are easy, but (alike us) Turkish uses cases and its word order doesn't really have enough rules to follow. The shock comes when you realize it has nothing in common with all the Germanic, Latin and Slavic languages you have ever studied. The biggest grammar difficulty (at least for the beginners) is the suffixes (ev-house, evler-houses, evlerim-my houses, evlerimde-in my houses, ...) and the vocabulary also teaches you a lesson: you were a fool to believe that some words (such as student or literature) are kind of international. Student in Turkish is "öğrenci" and literature is "edebiyat". Welcome to Turkey. The only thing that sometimes helps me a little bit is my French. (Some of the modern terms of the 20th century were taken from French.)

And my impressions of Turkish? It is not an ugly language to listen to but you are probably not going to fall in love with it like with the pretty romantic French language.

There are two aspects of Turkish that make the people both extremely polite and slightly rude.
The Turkish use so many polite expressions that are almost impossible to translate to other languages! For example, after a meal, it is a custom to wish health to the cook's hands. Or if you visit someone, you are supposed to react to their "you came nicely" (=welcome) with "we found it nice". You can also use "let it be overcome" (=get well soon) when someone drops a lot of things on the floor. Or if you see someone washing the dishes, working or studying, you should wish them "let it come easy (for you)". To learn all these expressions and to use them in the right situations, is a real challenge.

So what makes the Turks slightly rude if they have so many social expressions? Overuse of the imperative. Instead of "could you", "would you" etc., they usually prefer the form of imperative (e.g. "bring me water"). Not only do they love the imperative even with people they don't know, but many times they forget to use the magical words "please" and "thank you". Oh and sometimes, people automatically treat me as "sen" (the informal pronoun, like "du" in German and "tu" in the Latin languages) although I am for example their teacher. But I mean, of course these are some things that make the Turkish people a little impolite in my eyes. At the same time, I am aware of the fact that I cannot quite "feel" their language yet. İnşallah (as the Turks always say to express their hope, no matter how religious they are or not), I will feel it soon.

A Couple of Things You Probably Didn´t Know about Turkey

(I say probably because if you live in Turkey and pay a little bit of attention to what is happening around you, you must have noticed.)

When I came to Turkey for the first time (more than two years ago), I wasn´t able to open youtube. Why? Censorship. (Though, every Turkish knew of course how to get on youtube and nowadays, it works normally again.)

Today, if you watch TV, you are not going to be able to see any cigarettes there. They hide them. In my opinion, they just manage to call more attention like that, but what do I know, right?

I also remember how nervous I was about any kind of intimacy in public in that summer 2012. I was so worried not to offend anyone in this new exotic country that I was refusing just to hug my boyfriend. Well, of course I was exaggerating. Still, unlike in many other countries, you can hardly ever see any French kissing in public.

About Turkish dining, a couple of things are going to surprise you too. Like that even in many restaurants, it is not common to use a knife. Or when visiting someone at their place, you may eat on the floor (I actually like it, I believe that it somehow brings the people closer). And you are all probably going to eat from common plates, bowls and pans. (My mother was stunned when I decided to do that with a saucepan in her house this summer. Unfortunately, the board I chose to put under the pan wasn´t exactly wooden...)

There are some funny details we, Czechs, have in common with the Turks. A couple of words (kral-král, cezve-džezva, hele, na, vişne-višně, fasulye-fazole etc.) and a few habits. We for example both knock on the wood when we say something good and we don´t want it to get bad. ("I have never had any problems with my teeth." - knock, knock, knock!)

What else? The people are extremely generous, they love talking about money, they are too curious, they have a very large amount of social rules, they love foreign brides (I don´t know why but they do), they are crazy about visitors and they are mad, mad drivers. They are more than that (long live generalizing!), but about that next time.

Istanbul, here I come!

I have just read most of my blog to see if I still agree with what I had written. Also, a lot has changed for me. I have recently moved to Istanbul to start a new life here, hopefully better than in Eskisehir where I hadn´t been very lucky. I´ve been living in Turkey already for one year and a couple of weeks! I have realized that living in this country is by so far the biggest challenge of my life. Mainly because my boyfriend is Turkish. It means that I am more and more expected to behave like a Turkish because I am not just any tourist or foreigner. So lately it has felt like this country and I are in a kind of war, testing each other. I guess the reason why I haven´t packed my luggage and left yet is because I like challenge. And I don´t like giving up.

I am not sure if there was first Turkey angry with me or me angry with Turkey. However silly it might sound, I believe that a country is like an organism capable of treating you well or badly. I believe that sooner or later you find yourself in a kind of relationship with the country. And like every relationship, this one too has its phases. You are curious first, then you fall in love, everything is new and you can´t see any mistakes. You just accept everything as different. But then after some time you open your eyes and suddenly there are some problems and conflicts. And sometimes they make you really unhappy. And you are not sure if it is worth trying. But you keep on going. You hope in better tomorrows. You change the city, try to find new friends... 

I am not saying this country is better or worse than other countries. Please. It is just so damn different. It makes me wonder if I really am as open-minded as I used to think. It makes me wonder how much one is supposed to accept from a new culture. And it shocks me how difficult it can be from time to time. It makes me see my country and culture from a completely new angle and it makes me reconsider if what I had experienced before can really be called "living abroad". I can say now: erasmus is not living abroad. Visiting your friends or boyfriend in a foreign country, even if you stay for a couple of months, is not real living abroad. This what I am living right now is living abroad and it is pretty hard most of the time. 

But, yes, Istanbul, here I come. I am thinking that if I am to be happy in this country, it is going to happen in Istanbul. If I am to have a good job, it is going to happen in Istanbul. If I am to attend language, sport and cultural events like I used to back at home, it is going to happen in Istanbul. So here I am, Istanbul, trying to make a deal with you. Take it because you are a country on your own and we can forget about the conflict with Turkey.       

Bread, The Omnipresent

One of many things that fascinate me here in Turkey, is the role bread has on the Turkish table. It cannot be missing no matter if you are having breakfast or dinner, and no matter what you are eating. When preparing a meal, the crucial question always is: Do we have bread?

The philosophy is that you can always get full by eating bread with your meal. So don't be surprised if you see the Turkish chewing bread together with side dishes, with meals missing any sauce, with fried cheese, risotto or pasta. I am not sure if it has anything to do with the respect Turks have for foods in general, or if it's just another Turkish mania, as I like to call such particularities.

About the toilets in Turkey

Everybody travelling to Turkey is always curious what the toilets are going to be like. So here it comes.

In majority of places, public or not, you have the "normal", European, toilets. Some public places, such as university or gas station, have both types. As for flats, they usually have a bathroom with a European toilet inside and apart, in a different room, a Turkish one. (But the very new modern flats have no more Turkish toilets.) If you visit a village or some place out of the city, they tend to have just the Turkish toilet.

What the Turkish toilet is like for us girls? It´s ok, I have already said it before but I sometimes make fun of it seeing it as a game of pretending to be a guy (because, ehum, there is a hole that you might see as your target). I also consider it very convenient in public places. Why? Because it´s much more hygienic. You are not touching anything! You don´t have to think if you put paper on the toilet seat or if you just stand above it, being uncomfortable after a while since it is kinda high. The only disadvantage might be for people who have some problems with their legs, of course. Oh, and I don´t recommend reading in such a toilet!

One more thing people imagine about Turkish toilets. They think it is just a hole in the ground. Not really, the design and material is quite the same like the European toilet. So don´t imagine any mud and dirt there.

What can be surprising about the toilets in Turkey is the fact that you don´t throw the paper into the toilet. You throw it into a bin next to the toilet (I always get extremely embarassed when I can´t find any). It might seem strange at first, or even disgusting, but trust me, it´s perfectly ok. The toilets don´t smell more because of it and you get used to it quite easily (on the other hand, I get confused after coming to my homeland). They say the paper can´t be thrown into the toilet because the pipes wouldn´t take it, they are said to be too thin.

There is one thing about the European toilets in Turkey I wish all toilets in the world had it. It´s a tiny pipe in the back of the toilet, right below the seat, which you can turn on to use some water for cleaning yourself. It is much more useful than a bidet!

That´s it for the toilets, I hope next time I won´t take so long to write something again.

A new season

Here I am starting a new season of my telenovela. I did it. I moved to Turkey.

I finally made my Turkish number work today (it wasn´t so easy since there is some stupid rule that if you want to use a Turkish SIM card, you must have a mobile phone purchased in Turkey - obviously this stuff must be cheaper abroad).

I was at a Turkish wedding in Ankara last weekend. I unfortunately missed the main celebration (the henna one) that happened two days before the ceremony. The ceremony happened in Hilton and if I don´t count some details such as the bride stepping quickly after her "Yes" on the groom´s foot to show who will reign at home, it was very "European". (Still I had great time with my crazy Turkish family.)

My main concern these days is where I can quickly improve my poor Turkish. And I am being surprised by little things like that Turkish don´t need any frozen food (our cooking is based on frozen meat, fish, vegetables, ...). I was advised by various Turkish people that when a Turkish man starts annoying me (wanting my mail address like last time for example), I can simply slap him. Well, I am not so sure. I guess there is something in us Czech girls that makes us be nice. I know that southern women (Portuguese, Italian or Turkish) tend to do such stuff very easily but I slap an unknown guy just when he physically or orally attacks me and not when he asks my mail address. Maybe it is because our society is not so showingly macho and therefore we don´t need to protect ourselves so much? I don´t know but I can learn slapping unknown guys more, since everyone says I have the right, it might be fun.

Enough for my mixed impressions of the first days here. Next time I must finally write about the Turkish toilets because that topic fascinates me!

Enjoy the new season of my telenovela. I will!

Sacrificing an animal

Last year in November I happened to be in Turkey in the time of Kurban Bayrami (Sacrifice holiday). I was told that the importance of this holiday might be compared to our Christmas (in a non-religious family like mine) or Easter (in religious families).

I realized that even I myself didn´t know much what this holiday was about. One or more families sacrifice an animal to God (or if you prefer, Allah) for several reasons. You give some of the meat to poor people, you cut the animal in a ritual way (the animal must not suffer) and therefore it will help you in your life after life to arrive at heaven etc. etc. The animal can be a sheep, a goat or a cow. It has several rules where, how and by whom it should be cut.

We travelled to Izmir to visit my boyfriend´s family (or better said a very small part of them) to stay with them for this holiday. I was very curious about the sacrificing part but although I am quite open to new experiences, I was kinda scared. The reason is simple: I used to be a vegetarian for six years and I actually decided to become one after seeing a terrifying video about treating farm animals in my country. When teenager, I was a member of possibly all animal societies in my country (I was the crazy girl with petitions). When kid, I used to read fairy tales to carps in our bathtub (we Czechs tend to buy living carps for Christmas dinner and we keep them in the bathtub). Briefly, I have always been very sensitive about animals.

One day we took the car and went to a special fair with sacrifice animals. We didn´t like the first fair so we decided to try another one. I guess I don´t  need to comment that I was absolutely the only foreigner around. My boyfriend´s family decided to buy a small bull. And then the "show" started. Of course I started crying already when they were bringing it. Of course I was the only person around who was crying. The hardest part to watch was when the bull understood what was happening and they were trying to bring it on its knees. My boyfriend was trying to take me away standing in front of me telling me not to watch it but I was like hypnotized. I was nodding but watching it eyes wide open over his shoulder. Then it was all very fast and the blood coming from its neck looked completely surrealistic to me.

The following days, there was a lot of meat to eat. The kinds that I never eat back home. But say no when you are a foreign visitor and they are watching and commenting all the time if you eat enough. So three times a day I was making myself eat meat I never eat, killing myself, trying to smile at my boyfriend´s family at the same time assuring them how delicious it was, begging my boyfriend with my eyes to eat it instead of me when they weren´t watching and swearing at his malicious smile that he would pay for it.

Cleaning your nose in Turkey

My favourite issue. Why? Because my doctor once told me I am allergic to cold. What does it mean? I basically can´t take one step without a tissue, no matter if it´s winter or hot summer. What more? I am sensitive to spicy food which reflects on my nose again. A problem? Kind of, in Turkey, everything is spicy.

First I definitely should explain that it is considered digusting and a sign of bad education to clean your nose in public in Turkey. I even have the impression that the problem is the tissue because I saw the act without the tissue many times (to be fair to Turkish, I saw it in other countries, too, especially Portuguese can be highly disgusting).

To me this issue actually became a sort of science. How to deal with it since it is badly seen by the society. Where it´s ok to deal with it and where not. Am I more tolerated as a foreigner?

Before going to Turkey for the first time, I already knew it is a faux pas in there, still I won´t forget my first sightseeing day in Istanbul when I saw my boyfriend´s cousin´s reaction to that. The girl saw some tourist, a man older than us, cleaning his nose the way we do it. With a tissue, as the most natural thing in the world. I was astonished at her reaction. She acted as if the man had just vomited or something like that. I guess that was the moment when I decided that no matter what, I am not going to repeat the man´s mistake in Turkey. Let´s do it the Turkish style.

But well, what is the Turkish style? I am not a 60 years old man to be spitting on the pavements, am I? But come on, I can make it somehow, can´t I?

Since that, I spent a lot of time snuffling. In the street, in the bus, at the table. I was all the time doing something that is considered highly disgusting in my country. I was doing something that I hate when somebody does it. Every time I see someone doing it in my country, I am fighting myself not to pass him my tissues.

Still, I could make it, couldn´t I?

Dinner with all his family. In a nice restaurant. One million kinds of food on the table as usual. A nice view from our saloon. What do I do? Run to the toilet. For how long will it help me? Not much.

Help in the street? Any corner where I can hide at least a little bit.
In the bus? No help. Although my boyfriend is almost two metres, still he can´t hide my blowing nose.

Sometimes the people try to be nice so they tell you to do it, that it´s ok. But I just got into some paranoic phase with it. I am always wondering if they are testing me. When a man in the restaurant offers me napkins because of my snuffling, he makes me confused. What for if I can´t clean my nose? How come that the woman sitting next to me in the bus going to Istanbul has just cleaned her nose? Is she trying to show me that in the case of need I can feel free to do so, too?

With time, I discovered that the problem is not that the people can see you, the problem is the sound. Good, I can blow my nose silently. My father, on the other hand, he would possibly have to leave Turkey immediately if they heard him.

The funny thing about this is that I feel nervous to clean my nose even here whenever I have my Turkish friends around. I guess that without realizing it, I am actually entertaining myself with a cultural difference that for me in fact is quite complicated. Anyway, it is interesting to see that if necessary, one doesn´t need what they usually can´t live without.

How does a foreign girl feel in Turkey

Let´s make one thing clear before writing this: What kind of foreigner am I in Turkey?

I spend most of my time in Turkey in Eskişehir (as you must have noticed if you read my blog) which is a place with basically no tourists and an extremely small number of foreigners, which I love. I never felt the need to look for my people abroad, sometimes I even feel annoyed when meeting them there. My impression is that if there are some foreigners in Eskişehir, it always has to do with Anadolu university. Either there are Erasmus students, or foreign professors, invited for some special lectures or something like that. Now, the only thing I have to do with this university (so far), is that my boyfriend studies there. But do I feel like a tourist in Eskişehir? Not really.

One thing I realized this time when I was in Eskişehir is that I feel safe there. A little safer than in Porto (where I lived for one year), for example.

Another thing is that a lot of (non-Turkish) people imagine that a foreign girl in Turkey is necessarily constantly bothered by Turkish guys. That´s nonsense. That might happen just in touristic places and if you wear some mini provocative stuff. In Eskişehir, I can wear exactly the same clothes like in Brno and not to feel provocative. Yes, ok, sometimes people stare at me a little in the streets but I think the Porto´s people stare more. But noone shouts or whistles at me, noone blows the horn or stops me in the street. And if some shop assistant gets a little cheeky asking your name and where you are staying, it is always enough to mention your boyfriend.

Still, I kind of get nervous with Turkish guys. I try to avoid looking at them so that they don´t think I am provoking them and I can get confused when some guy tries to help me although his help might not be so needed. Why? Because I think Turkish people in general have some funny stereotypical ideas about European girls, let´s say. I always wonder what the people imagine when they smile or frown at me, when I notice a Turkish girl hugging her boyfriend stronger when seeing me or when a guy asks me where I stay. Would the guy ask that question also to a Turkish girl? Do some people think I deserve less respect just because I am a foreign girl? Am I for them someone who automatically lives in a sin? Do the guys imagine that after a five-minute conversation I will take them home?

I don´t know answers to these but then there are some situations like when I fall asleep in a small bus station in Asian part of Istanbul (Ataşehir) and half of the station comes to wake me up and takes me to the bus to the airport that just came (even trying to help me in English that it´s number "sixteen" although they mean eighteen). Or when in a train, I help some family whose members are all a head shorter than me to get their luggage and for that, they insist on me taking some fruit from them.


Well, I guess that what I´m trying to say here is that I feel good in Turkey. I start smiling already at the airport when Turkish people appear around. I get crazy about the smells and food there. I become a shopping maniac and my desire of speaking and reading in Turkish reaches its peak. Every time, I get fascinated what a neverending neverstopping organism the country is (this hits me especially in Istanbul). And the sounds that I miss most from there are the ezan (the sound coming from the mosque which the imam calls the people to pray with) and the street bread seller.

Turkey and EU

The idea of Turkey joining the European Union doesn´t seem very realistic to me. I don´t consider myself any expert on politics but it just wouldn´t suit Turkey. It would bring more complications than advantages and the main good thing would be the end of visas to travel to EU. But that for sure would take a very long time to happen, considering the Turkish borders and their own migration.

I think Europe is scared just of the idea of Turkey in EU and in order not to be scared, they would try to control Turkey a little in some ways and I can´t imagine that. The Turkish definitely wouldn´t like it and I doubt they would allow it. I can imagine EU having problems with some Turkish food, maybe some traditions, the Kurds question, the power of armed forces in Turkey (highly respected by its people), the chapter of Armenians would be reopened. And there are two more issues: People would be asking "Is Turkey Europe?" and second, of course, a muslim country in EU.

My impression is that Europeans don´t really want it and Turkish don´t really care about it. I actually think they would be better without EU, which is becoming more and more an organization making new and stronger borders than opening itself (as it was proved to me last month when Ahmet wanted to come here, and as I could also see when passing the Bulgarian-Turkish border).

The Turkish guys (and girls)

Before I first went to Turkey, I had this funny idea that all Turkish guys are very handsome and the girls are nothing special. Then one day in Eskişehir I opened my eyes and was like "but where are the handsome guys? Was it all just in my head?". And then I looked at the girls and thought "but hey, they are not so bad. Not at all!".

One thing about (young) Turkish people is that they are dressed much nicer than us (but who isn´t, right?). They like to take care of themselves, both girls and guys. Fashionable clothes, hairstyles, some nice bijouterie etc. Kinda reminded me of Portugal. Of course the clothes is cheaper there (as everywhere out of the Czech Republic) but should we really blame it just on it? I don´t think so.

Now the Turkish guys. Hum. Foreign girls often complain about how annoying the guys they met in Turkey were. Well, nothing like that happened to me. But first, I haven´t been to Antalya, Alanya or some highly touristic place like that. Yes, you are right, I´ve been to Istanbul but Ahmet was always with me. So basically the only experience I can mention is from Eskişehir (that has a wonderful lack of foreigners) where the shop assistants were trying to have some conversation with me. It was perfectly sufficient to answer to the question if I was erasmus there, something like "benim sevgilim burada okuyor" (my boyfriend studies here) and they were cool (especially when my ten centimetres taller boyfriend appeared there). Why I´m telling you this is because in many countries it would mean nothing, the fact that I have a boyfriend. For example here in Czechia we say "but boyfriend/girlfriend is not a disease". One more thing I loved in Eskişehir is that nobody was really staring at me although I am an obvious foreigner there (like everywhere). For example in Porto the people could be quite annoying, in Rio even crazy.

The Turkish travelling in Europe - that´s a funny chapture. The ones coming for the first time to my country are usually shocked by the relationships here. Like how normal it might be partners cheating on each other or how let´s say direct we can be when we meet someone we like. I guess Turkish girls getting together with European guys like Czechs (why??? Anyway...) hope that the guy is going to be less jealous, more open-minded etc. Well, it depends on the person. And Turkish guys in Europe, well, it seems they usually go with quite obvious targets and can get a little crazy. But you could say the same about other nations, too. And we all know that erasmus is not about getting a different study experience.

But there is one thing I love both about girls and guys: they are extremely nice. Really warm, always welcoming you with their arms open. They remind me of Brazilians in that which is amazing if you realize how different the cultures are. They always offer you to drink, eat or sleep at their place. And they have this ability to make you feel like at home in five minutes although you are actually visiting them in their dormitory.

"Don´t talk about religion and politics!"

Wow, one month since I haven´t  been here. Well, exams are over so here I come again.

Because I have a huge problem to talk about anything briefly, it is difficult for me to choose just one topic. I would simply love to talk about everything at once. But it´s impossible, of course, so let´s just see what will happen with the title I chose this time.

"Don´t talk about religion and politics" is a piece of advice mainly foreigners might give you when you might meet Turkish people. There are certain reasons for this advice but it just doesn´t work for me. If there is a topic that is supposed not to be discussed, a kind of taboo, you can be sure I will go for it as soon as possible. Usually I try not to offend the people of course but at the same time I´ve always loved provoking.

Since I got into this relationship of mine with Turkey, it was clear I couldn´t avoid (and I didn´t want to at all) informing myself about their religion. But what I´ve been doing is not just collecting information about islam, but trying to understand religion(s) in general. Why? That´s easy: because (as you certainly know) I come from the country with the biggest percentage of atheists in the world. So for me it is not difficult to understand that you are a muslim or christian, but the basic idea of you believing.

Before my getting involved with Turkey, I actually thought it would be easier for the Turkish to accept me because they wouldn´t be bothered by any other religious "competition". But wrong! As hard as it might be for me to understand believers, that hard it might be for them to understand how someone cannot believe. Still, you are always more accepted if you are a crazy European girl than if you are Turkish.

What called my attention on Turkish ID is the fact that their religion is mentioned there! I started asking myself how come. Like when and how they decide if to put "muslim" there or not. Do they ask me? Or do they ask just if I am let´s say a Turkish Greek?

The official numbers of muslims in Turkey are big. I was asking a couple of Turkish people who were fine talking about it (I guess it must be easier for them to talk to me as a foreigner about such things) and they confirmed me that every Turkish will tell me he/she is a muslim. But then how truly the person believes, how often prays etc., that´s a completely different story. Also, there are people, who don´t consider themselves true believers. It´s just to admit that and say it aloud in Turkey, is something that seems to be absolutely socially unacceptable.

As I mentioned before, this differs, obviously, from place to place. You can have strictly religious cities like the famous Konya, and on the other hand you can hear people talking about Izmir as about a foreign city because the people seem to care much less about religion than in the rest of Turkey. And surely, let´s not generalize so much - it depends on the level of education, on the family etc., etc.

The interesting thing about Turkey that you notice in every single book about islam, is that Turkey is seen as a kind of example, an exception. Their national pride (and nationalism) was enhanced when their biggest hero, that seems to be a kind of saint for them, Kemal Atatürk, founded the Republic of Turkey in 1923. With that, a lot of reforms came (they accepted "our" alphabet, gave the right to vote to women - before France and other countries, by the way! -, changed the education system and many more) and there you can find the reason why nowadays Turkey is considered to be an exception among muslim countries: they decided to keep the religion apart from the politics. (That situation has been changing with the contemporary government but that´s  another chapture again.)

Now I will try to get back to the title.
Why shouldn´t you talk about the religion and politics with the Turkish (or why people say you shouldn´t).
I think that if you respect their belief (which I do, I respect everyone´s religion and the belief even more, I just might have problems with the religious institutions, but those seem to be represented much less in islam than in christianity, for example, which I find nice) and show them you can see there are too many prejudices and stereotypes especially against their religion, you shouldn´t have any problem to discuss even these topics (I mean you should wisely choose the people to discuss it with, too).

And the same can be said about their politics. Yes, you are right, don´t push much the case of Armenians (I myself must say it still confuses me and I don´t  really know what to think about it. This morning I had to smile when I read in Islám a islamismus by a Czech specialist that the Armenians made the French to proclaim officially and internationally that what had happened WAS a genocide and anyone who says the contrary might appear in some international court. Anyway, it´s all just playing with words, medias and history. You can manipulate it so easily. I for example don´t understand why we use the "soft" word "odsun" (transfer) for what we did with the Germans here after the Second World War.).

(I prefer not to comment the Kurds since I don´t consider myself to know enough about it.)

The history (and politics) is a funny thing, anyway. Every country teaches it differently, some teach more, some less. Some countries tend to make a nationalist from you already at the primary school. I don´t say which one is wrong and which is right. Let me study in all the countries of the world and I´ll tell you.

Still, I realized that the Turkish national pride is from a big part based on a certain feeling of injustice from the part of the West (mainly Europe, I think). And I can understand it. What the European big powers tried to do to them during the First World War, reminds me a little what they did to us in the Second one. The difference is that with Turkey they failed in a way that nobody expected and with us they succeeded. It´s just that noone really recognizes that victory of  theTurkish. So it´s up to them to recognize it.

Therefore, if you are not xenophobic (if you were, you wouldn´t be reading my blog for sure), if you can handle sensitive issues without offending people and if you are ready to listen, I don´t think you should be afraid to discuss these topics with Turkish people. To me, this helps to break the stereotypes and prejudices, which is something I love to do.

West or East

First I should say that it is a very common topic also for the Czech Republic, my homeland. We don´t really like to discuss it because we like to believe we are simply the centre. We also get angry when looking at the map, asking ourselves if Austria appears to be more eastern than us, why are they considered the pure West and we are considered the opposite? We all know the answer is our communist history. (Altough again - shouldn´t half of Germany be considered the East, too?)

This used to get me angry (and it still does) especially in Portugal (or better said among the Portuguese). I am going to be quite bad to them now, although not unfair, but if they are my friends, they know this opinion of mine.
The Portuguese happen to be geographically in the very west. Still, they are said to be the poorest West European country and I can´t forget my French professor´s reaction to my Czech presentation in Porto when I mentioned that our economy actually is stronger than the Portuguese one. She started laughing as if she heard the best joke of the year and commented that it is quite obvious because they are the poorest country of European Union (I guess she didn´t count some countries of the East).
Anyway, what I´m trying to say is that there is this very annoying disturbing thing of the Portuguese. They do realize they are a sort of poor neighbour to all the other West European countries and they just hate it, they feel inferior to them. And what do they do to feel better? They compare themselves to the East, so that they can feel superior to some others. The point is when they do it to my country which they know basically NOTHING about, and moreover their strongest argument is "you know, we have a great history! We had the greatest discoverers and we discovered this and this..!", I just stop listening saying "yep, nice, that was 500 years ago, do you mind?".

If you take Brazil, it´s something different, the Brazilians don´t really seem to care about that kind of shit. West or East of what? Europe? Come on, first you just become a gringa that most Brazilians simply consider rich and then you continue with that label as European, that´s it. (How much nicer the Brazilian way is!)

Finally getting to Turkey. To start, I´d like to mention I feel very sorry for my Turkish friends because of the prejudices foreigners have against them. It´s amazing. The harem, 4 wives, the sultan, the burqa, the camels and then a lot of crap coming with the prejudices against islam (like the women circumcision, cutting your hand or arm when you steal something etc.). After realizing this, I thought we are lucky because there are no such strong stupid prejudices against the Czech Republic. What do they say about us? Beautiful girls, quite easy, ugly guys, a lot of beer, people are kinda cold... Well, but aren´t they at least partly true?

Coming back to the West and East, it´s very interesting the way the Turkish see themselves. They like to believe they are both Europeans and Asians. I guess they are. They do have a juicy mixture of it. It amazes me how "Western" they want to be, or maybe how western they want to be considered, still, they can´t and don´t want to get rid of so many traditions of theirs. The amount of traditions they still keep is unbelievable, it feels like I can spend my whole life learning about them. It even made me think that my own country doesn´t have any compared to Turkey (I felt something similar when tasting Turkish food). The funny thing is that even if they try their best to become Europeans, they keep this deep suspiciousness to everything Western. In their eyes we represent the immorality, no sense for family, traditions, values etc.

So ok, you have just explained us they are more fond of the East, we can understand that, in the end they are muslims, aren´t they? - Oh, how wrong you are! You would think they are automatically friends with Arabs and Persians and whoever of the same belief, hum? No, the impression I got from the Turkish was quite the opposite. They don´t  like the Arabs because they make the muslims look bad and because they care too much about money etc.  And the Persians? Well, in Iran they mix too much politics and religion and that´s not exactly the Turkish style (they are republic and they are hell proud of it).

Now you know the reactions of some of you? Like "Petra, be careful, he´s a Turkish and a muslim!". So it also goes the other way around. It goes like "But Ahmet, be careful, she´s a European, so she can leave you any time, if you married her, she would divorce you the second day and she can cheat on you any time" and bla bla bla. So for them I´m simply a European. A person you should always suspect.

So in the end, where am I from?

Turkish wear

My friends commented I haven´t written anything new here in a while so here I am. And as you can see, I decided to write in English this time, I hope I won´t commit a lot of nonsense, linguistic or factual.

One thing that has been on my mind because everybody has been asking me about that, is to write about the kind of clothes Turkish people wear. Especially the women, of course. There have been too many silly jokes about the burqa etc.

From what I have seen, not only the clothes, but also the mood, the religiosity, the atmosphere change from place to place. Many people don´t realize that Turkey is a huge country and that brings big differences, too. I may just talk about the places I have been to, which actually is not much so far. I might mention places that some Turkish people told me about or that I read about (because I have basically become a collector of everything Turkish in my own country).

Let´s start with the most popular one: the veil or the headscarf.
I would say that a half of Turkish women wear it and a half don´t. That could be the case of Istanbul which is soon twice bigger (talking about the number of inhabitants) than my country. What happens there is something typical for all big cities: people from all over Turkey come there to look for better life, often from villages in the east and other parts of Turkey. Because it seems to me that the east of Turkey is considered to be quite different from the rest of the country, the people´s traditions tend to be stronger and their minds closer than the others´ ones. My guess is that especially because of these people Istanbul´s inhabitants might become more orthodox, which brings the headscarf.
I have the impression that in Eskişehir, which is said to be the city with the biggest percentage of university educated people in Turkey and you can actually feel that just walking around, majority of women don´t wear any headscarf. In fact, I found myself slightly surprised every time I saw a woman wearing it, especially if it was a young girl my age.
I saw a lot of scarfed women in Bursa and I imagine there must be almost 100% of them in Konya.
What matters, is to explain you how such a "Turkish headscarf" looks like and what kinds of them you can see. It is quite simple, they tend to cover their hair and look kinda like our grandmothers from the country (although some of the women are highly chic!). Some more orthodox ones prefer to wear a long coat (something like our "baloňák") that hides everything (I could see that in Istanbul in the summer).
Now, there are no burqas in Turkey and the Turkish won´t really laugh with you when you joke about it (together with the jokes about four wives, camels and the name of their present sultan). It appears to me they rather hate it as a stupid thing of the Arabs. When you see a burqa in Turkey, it is more than probable that the woman is Arab.

The clothes in general differs again. In some cities you should be careful mainly in summer what you wear and how much of your flesh is shown. I actually got quite fed up with that in Istanbul and Ankara. You should watch your cleavage and it´s good if your skirt or shorts reach your knees. But then you come to Eskişehir, go out with your new long skirt and feel like the biggest village idiot that is completely out. And oh, dear Mersin! I could walk in biquini on the street and nobody would care (I didn´t stay in the tourist part).

One chapture that called my attention mostly in November, was the clothes of Eskişehir´s nights. Oh boy, the girls were as glamorously dressed at least as the clubbing Portuguese and moreover, they looked more daring than Czech girls! I was looking at them, fascinated, not feeling so comfortable in my jeans, telling Ahmet that nobody would believe me that was Turkey if they saw it. Still, there was this interesting detail: a lot of legs around but no showing breasts. You neither can see, as it is so often here and it gets quite annoying, somebody´s ass looking at you from their trousers.

After this, I noticed some girls in there in fact dress in a similar way also during the day. And noone cares, the guys don´t bother them, simply everybody´s cool with it. Maybe that is one of the reasons why Erman said that if Turkey doesn´t join the EU, at least Eskişehir should (I loved it).

Hum, I think this is quite enough about the Turkish clothes, but if you have any questions, ask me. I just hope my Turkish friends and boyfriend won´t say this is a complete bullshit.

Má drahá babička

Ukazuju babičce fotky z Istanbulu. Na jedné jsou dva malí chlapečci ve svátečním oblečení s maminkou.
Já: "To sem fotila, protože prý zrovna byli na obřízce, a proto sou tak oblečení."
Babička: "Cože?! No to je hrozný!"
- "Co je na tom hrozný?"
- "No a to dělají jako kvůli náboženství?"
- "No, jo."
- "Hum, chudáci malí, to musí hrozně bolet a vždyť je to takový barbarský."
- "Proč by to bylo barbarský? Dělaj to i z hygienickejch důvodů a dělá se to i u židů."
- "Cože? I židi obřezávaj holčičky? To sem nevěděla.."

Pozn.: V Turecku se proboha žádná ženská obřízka nedělá. Navíc to nesouvisí s náboženstvím, ale s kulturou. A pokud se nepletu, týká se to především Afriky, a to její černé části.

Proč blog o Turecku

Zprostředkovat někomu zážitky z Portugalska, nebo dejme tomu i z Brazílie, mi v porovnání se snahou o to stejné z Turecka, přijde dost jednoduché, mj. proto, že latina je in a muslimové jsou všichni zlí teroristi. O to víc mě to mrzí, protože mě ta země fascinuje a občas mám pocit, že vlastně nemám s kým se o to podělit. Můj bratr například prohlásil, že co je to za zemi, když vám tam useknou ruku za krádež auta. Pořád nějak doufám, že si dělal srandu (taky doufám, že Vám nemusím vysvětlovat, že to se děje jen někde v arabských zemích, a s těmi já zatím nemám nic společného - prosím Vás, pro ty, co propadli tomuhle obrovskému omylu, Turci nejsou Arabové a arabštině ani vůbec nerozumí, patří mezi turkické národy a jsou na to patřičně hrdí).

Vadí mi, kolik existuje předsudků a stereotypů týkajících se Turecka, a nejspíš to je hlavním důvodem k vytvoření tohoto blogu. I když někdy jsou ty předsudky tak silně zakořeněné, že Vás lidi prostě neposlouchají, jak jsem si už všimla. Dalším velkým důvodem je, že jsem se ještě nikdy nesnažila porozumět tak odlišné kultuře, dostat se jí pod kůži, objevit ji pro sebe. Občas zažívám menší kulturní šoky, což je pro mě nové. Asi i proto mě to tak baví.